Onward and Upward

An update? After so many years?! Yep.

I’ve had a really amazing experience in the last year or so. It began with me finding a new Padrino who could help me fix the damage that my original Padrino did way back in the day. My new Padrino is a great guy, down-to-earth, who is honest and shares many of the same spiritual attributes that I do. His crowning orisha is the same as mine, his mother in Ocha is the same as mine. He is gay, as am I, and he shares many of my same ideas about the religion. He took me under his wing and taught me many things about the religion. In the first hour I sat down and spoke with him I learned more about the Lukumí faith than I ever did from my original godfather!

Well, one thing led to another and here I am almost precisely 8 years after the moment I left my old Padrino, and I am about to have new diloggún washed and fed. Then I’ll be able to receive the igbodú (the sacred room) at my new padrino’s brother’s initiaion. He is being initiated to Aggayú – a rarer orisha to witness and a wonderful blessing to experience as my first moment in the sacred room. With these ceremonies I’ll be restored to a complete place in the Orisha religion and I’ll be able to move on with my path.

One interesting thing is that Changó really accelerated this and made it happen. He found me the right godfather. He connected me with the right people. He brought me the prosperity I needed to be able to afford replacing my shells and the other parts of my ceremonies. And he defends me every day of my life. Changó truly is the king of this religion and he really has shown me much in the last 8 years. I almost consider the time since my initiation as an incubation period, where I could grow and evolve – like a metamorphosis – slowly over time. My current padrino and I both agree that my original padrino rushed me into my orisha initiation before it was my time. He lied and said my life was in danger and that if I didn’t initiate, I would die. What we’ve learned since is that I actually was supposed to have more time to develop my relationship with my spirits, allow more time for my Palo initiation to grow and evolve, and then the spirits of Palo would open the roads for me to receive the Orishas when the time was right. Apparently it was supposed to be 8 years before I “made ocha”. Here I am 8 years later, returning to the igbodú in my proper time.

How am I doing otherwise? Well I’m fantastic! I’m happily in love, I’m more prosperous than ever, I have my health, stability, spiritual evolution and joy. I can honestly say that I’m in one of the happiest periods of my life right now. All those nay-sayers back in the day that I left my first Godfather threatened me saying that the orishas would kill me, that I would suffer great consequences for my actions and that it would be my undoing. Well it just goes to show that each person has their own destiny and that is between their Orí and Olodumare. Fortunately, I have a good Orí – it has never steered me wrong. Even in the periods of intense difficulty in my life, everything has always played a part in the greater picture of what I needed in life. My painful experiences in my Year in White all served to show me the ugly underbelly of the Orisha religions and how I can play a part in making it better for future generations.

Maferefún Changó. Modupue gbogbo orisha. Modupue iworo!



  1. Hi Eddy,

    Thank you for sharing your experiences in the Year of White. I have had similar thoughts and experiences in my life and would love to discuss them with you over email. I also have some questions and welcome your perspective.

    If you can, please email me so we can connect.

    Your story is inspirational and I am so happy to hear that all seemed to work out well and with many blessings.


  2. Hello Eddy,

    I can’t tell when this was published, but my guess is that its been a few years. I just received me Santo Yemaya and I am two days outside of my 7 day initiation. I could not believe that I found this blog online. I am so grateful. Doing Santo was something my mother really wanted me to do. She would cry and suffer because she felt that I wasn’t protected. And anytime I did so much as sneeze she told me “see this would not happen if you did Santo. Your health is at stake.” So I went ahead and did Santo hoping it would finally bring her some peace. I respect my mother so much and I wanted to appease her and do the one thing she wanted most. The only problem now is that, I am not sure where I stand. Ive had respect for this religion my entire life. Everyone in my immediate family has Santo. Everyone talks about all the health and good things it has brought them into their life. And that is great however, now that I have Santo done I don’t feel any more drawn to the religion than I did before. One night before I went to sleep en el throno, I started crying. I was so sad. I felt anxiety, fear and troubled. That entire week everyone was thrilled but me. Now I am back home, dressed in white, and looking at my Santos. I wonder what is next? I feel so confined and scared. My journey in White is just beginning and I already feel lost. I went looking through the internet and I found your blog and almost cried. I have read all of your entries and you really captured my feelings exactly.

    Some of the rules of this religion are so contradictory and confusing. And I completely agree with you that there are so many things about this religion that need to be changed. Why does it have to be based on fear? I have a lot of issues with that. I want to show my appreciation for the Santos but I don’t to fear them. I want to buy flowers and show them love, but I don’t want to feel guilt because I didn’t follow one of their rules exactly. Which contradicts my beliefs about God loving all of us unconditionally. It just looks like a disconnect between God and the Santos.

    Well, I can go on about this forever…but I just want to say THANK YOU for your honestly and for sharing this with everyone. I can’t tell you how much better I feel. May God and all the Santos Bless you forever.


  3. Thanks for this nice insight. Very nice pages. Sometimes while reading them I thought that you must have had your reasons to leave the people, leave the ilé you was born in, but I couldn’t understand why you also left the religion bc the religion is much more then the people. First of all it is the personal connection we have with the divine and of course a complete corpus of rituals and mythology that should help us to get a “clear connection”. In the Regla it is the Orishas who are the mediums between the divine and us humans and you are right that priests, first of all, are just humans, but not the Orishas, they suppose to be guides, signposts to show us directions that would lead us to our own self (and by this to the divine). It’s right, the highest Orisha is Ori him/herself and these pages show a good example for it.

    You was right following your own Ori instead of following people. And for your Ex-Padrino: let the Orishas deal with him …

    • I’m so grateful to Obatala for guiding me to your page. I have been reading and learning as much as I can from a friend in l.a. I’m moving out there next week. I would love to hear from you as I found your blog very fascinating. I’m glad you stood up for what was right. I admire that! I hope to hear from you. Izmayel10@gmail.com

  4. Thank you thank you thank you! Aché y tanto tanto irè! So grateful to you for writing this. My sister sent it to me today, and I had a marathon. Read it all in one sitting. WOW! So beautiful insightful & just gorgeous. Gracias

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