Mar ’02 – entry 3

Conversations with God

I have a very special spiritual friend who helped me to discover and learn something very impactful this month. Dave I want to thank you for helping me to re-member. I love you exactly as you are.

My friend recommended that I read a book that helped change his life. So I decided to give it a try. I went and purchased the book Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch. I began to read the back cover of the book online and instantly I began to feel my heart open up with love. I knew that this book arrived in my life at the exact time I needed it to. So I bought it and went home to read it.

This book has helped me to remember everything that I had forgotten. As a matter of fact, everything in this book I already believed, no I KNEW to be true from personal experience, but for some reason I had forgotten it. What I realized was that this past year, since I left my priesthood in Wicca (almost a year now,) I created this existence where I forgot all that I knew about existence and about my life. I set aside all of my understanding of the universe and life and of myself, in order to remember it here a year later through this book and appreciate it more than I ever did before. That is why I had to be scratched in Palo. That is why I had to be crowned in Ocha. That is why I had to be dressed in white and given all of these irrational and superstitious restrictions. I needed the extreme of where I was spiritually, so that I could appreciate what I had that much more.

I recommend this book to everyone who wants to remember who they are and realize the real beauty of who God is, and why life is so perfect the way it is. There is no failure. There is no judgment. There is merely living, experiencing who we really are and creating our identity every day of our lives. Now that this book has helped me to remember everything that is on the other half of my website (hehehe) I am going to create my happiness once again. I am going to re-member who I am – that divinely perfect person that I love deep within. No amount of restrictions, and no special colored clothes are going to assist me in that because they are not a reflection of who I really am. They are in fact working against my ultimate goal, which is to experience my beingness, therefore they are indeed bad for me.

Conversations with God helped me to see that my conversation with Grandma was totally correct. If you are happy, you are the most protected you could ever be. The rest of it is just a human construct. I am going back to living my life as I want to live it. I will wear whatever the hell I want to wear. I will eat whatever the hell I want to eat. I will date whoever the hell I want to date and I will screw however I want to. And God will smile down on me because I am living up to my greatest potential – I am living and experiencing who I really am.

As of right now, I have decided to finish out my year in white out of respect for the commitment I made, but I am thinking that I might change my mind a month or so down the line. Who knows? I will allow God to speak to me within, through my feelings, to guide me.

Next Chapter >>> Return to Normalcy


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