Dec ’01 – entry 2

Them Dingos Took My Baby!

So on this same trip around the southland, we had to go to the desert. I am writing this after the fact because for some reason, it occurred to me in the bathroom. I will address this phenomenon later. But here I am in the middle of the California desert with my godniece. We pull off of the 15 freeway in the middle of some random place and needed to find a patch of dirt. So instead of doing the civilized thing and going to, I dunno, a flower bed at a gas station, or say a street corner, she decided to off-road it into a construction zone and swerve around a series of orange traffic cones to find LEGITIMATE DESERT DIRT! I am holding onto the “Oh-shit-bar” in the car for my life as she bounds through potholes, past earth moving equipment and finally gets on a strip of what seemed like old street that was in the process of being ripped up.

So we all get out of the car and go to the trunk to get the little shovel we needed and as I round the back of the car, I notice that the brush at the top of a small knoll next to the street next to us was moving. I was terrified to see three dogs crest the top of this knoll. They looked wild and they were bearing their teeth. I was not pleased. I urged her to get what she needed to we could get the hell out of there. Well, the dogs got closer and were bearing their teeth and began to approach us. Like a good child of Ogún, my godniece starts talking to the dingos in a voice two octaves higher than normal, “Hi sweeties. Hi there! Hi babies…” I am shitting a little bit in my pants at this point. Don’t get me wrong, I am not afraid of dogs, but I have some stuff in my Itá about them – ’nuff said. Anyways, I am doing the same as my godniece hoping they will be friendly. Well slap my ass and call me Charlie, the thing starts jumping up on me like I was its lost cousin! They were so happy to see us. Too happy. I am in pristine white here, so I get back in the car and tell the others to hurry the fuck up and get in the car. My godniece, of course, is not pleased with just any old soil. No, it has to be color coordinated. So she is taking her sweet time. In the mean time, I am screaming from inside the car for her to hurry up. She finally gets her blasted soil and gets in the car. She then decided to take the time to label this soil while we are in the middle of this place that is disturbingly similar to a scene from the movie “Cujo.” Then the dogs start jumping up on the side of the car onto the windows. I lose it and scream like a woman, “Them dingos took my baby! Them dingos gonna take my baby!” Of course she starts the car and makes a three point turn on this “rape alley” of a street, but instead of bounding on home, she decides to open the freaking window!!!!!!! I scream, once again like a woman, “The dingos!” And she tosses food out the window to the wild dogs! I told her that they were going to follow us if she fed them, which just broke down into a series of jokes about the damn dingos running after our car all th way through the mountain pass back to home. Them dingos took my baby! (this is a reference to a movie in which an Australian woman’s baby is ‘stolen’ by dingos, except everyone thought she had killed the kid herself….ugh long story – if you don’t get it forget it.)

So here is the story about the Toilet. I have brilliant spirit-inspired messages whenever I am on the can. I cannot explain it except that my padrino gave me a great explanation. He said that there is actually a spirit that lives in the toilet. It has no name, but it eats shit and if you treat it well, by offering it candles once a year and the like, that it will provide you with inspirations and solutions to your problems. Now this sounds like a mushroom trip, but I have to think there is some truth behind it because I get some fucking miraculous ideas when I am taking a crap. Now I don’t know if it is that spirit or if it is the relaxation state that one must enter to have a truly relaxing bathroom experience, but it works. That is all I know. You try it. This spirit reminded me of the dingo story.

On another note, I have been noticing that my spiritual sensitivity is strengthening with time. Today, I was out at lunch picking up a sandwich, and on the way there, suddenly it felt as if the entire earth had dropped out from under me by about 15 feet and then returned to its normal place. WOOOOO what a trip! Ever had this happen to you? I think it was because the Santa Ana Winds were cranking at full blast and I know that Oyá rides those winds and brings her egun with her. I have to stay inside and be careful during windy days, and I think this was concrete proof of why I need to be careful on windy days. I felt something similar when Shangó shook me up at the tambor played at my ocha. Except that time it felt like the entire room flipped upside down. I actually had to grab for a wall because I was so disoriented. When I get possessed by my egun I don’t feel this kind of spacial flux, so much as I feel an internal energetic change. Perhaps this is the fundamental way to distinguish a spirit shaking you up versus an orisha or an enfuiri touching you. Who knows?

Next Chapter >>> People Can Be So Rude



  1. Love your stories!! I must say you definitely put things into perspective, ashé

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