Apr ’02 – entry 3

Venom

Well now, that was an interesting reaction to the last set of postings I put up. All of my personal friends, spiritual brothers and sisters and family were incredibly supportive. Everyone else was completely uncompassionate, accusatory, insulting, offensive or threatening. I have been told everything from “I feel sorry for you” to “you are going to die because of your actions.” To those of you who offer compassion and understanding I thank you for at least seeing things from my perspective as well. For those of you who feel the need to castigate a person who you do not even know, or lob threats of revenge from the gods, I ask that God bless you.

There is a real interesting mechanism in the human psyche and in the universe at large and it involves tension and truth. See, when someone holds something to be true, although they have no personal experience to back it, it is essentially a belief. (Our language is often misused and we frequently use the word belief to describe anything which we feel is true. I am trying here to distinguish the various levels of “truth.”) For this example, I will refer to anything which is held to be true without any personal experience to back it as “belief.” If a person holds something to be true and has personal experience of that actual concept working, then I would call that a “truth” for that person. The best way to measure the degree of “belief” in a person’s world-view is to challenge their beliefs with logical arguments or simple questioning. If they have no personal experience to back what they hold to be true, then they have nothing to stand on and immediately they will tense up, raise their voice and begin to exhibit negative body language, or resort to logical fallacies in their argument (name calling, propaganda, circular reasoning.) If a person’s “truths” are challenged (in other words, the things they have actually experienced) they will not tense up, if anything they will explain with greater clarity, laugh off the counter-argument, or just forget about the entire discussion avoiding any unnecessary conflict (“OK, if that is what you feel.”) In other words, there is no need to defend what you have actually lived to be true. Therefore, measure the “truth” of someone’s words by the tension they hold in them when you counter that argument.

I had a really interesting experience of this regarding the reply messages and letters I received this month. Apparently those who were newer to the religion, even fresh initiates were fervently waving their “cyber-arms” in the air and saying that they were insulted by my online journal, felt that I was unprepared for initiation or that my Wiccan training somehow tainted my mind like a virus! In response, I laughed with incredulous disbelief! I could not believe that other people’s personal happiness depended on whether or not I stay in Ocha! How misdirected people can be. I have no need to defend my actions or my decisions because God is with me guiding me. How can I question or doubt for a minute something that I did is good when I have personal truth – experience of goodness – to support that. I did not get offended by anyone’s words, in fact, I did the opposite. I only felt love for them that they realize that God is not vengeful, that another’s actions cannot affect your personal happiness – that only you can choose to be unhappy, and that they hopefully can experience evidence to support their belief in something they are so newly involved in. I would love, hope and pray that they could have a beautiful and peaceful experience of Ocha – that was what I was hoping for too, but alas it was not because of the people involved in my godfamily. I have chosen to be more discrete about what happened. This may leave some of you out of the loop, but I challenge you to think, “What could make someone who was so dedicated, so faithful, and who loves the religion so much, leave it all of a sudden?” That, after all, is the compassionate thing to think, and that is a thing of virtue.

As for Wicca having tainted my mind. I have no need to defend Wicca, for the Craft needs no defense, nor do I. My thoughts and decisions are mine alone and this journal proves that.

Next Chapter>>> The Way, The Truth, The Life

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